


wistful

by hazly



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Convenience Store, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Beware, Convenience Store AU, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insomnia, Iwaizumi Hajime Is So Done, Late Night Conversations, Late at Night, M/M, Oikawa is a good friend, Panic Attacks, Really fluffy, SO FLUFFY, Slow Burn, Texting, actually there's angst too, heartbroken kuroo, hold onto ur seatbelts bc this is gonna be a r i d e, idk how I came up with this, lol its rlly slow burn, lonely Kenma, lonely nights
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22436503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazly/pseuds/hazly
Summary: kuroo’s been broken for a while. he wants something new, something to help him sleep at night.maybe the convenience store across the street can fix that.or, insomniac kuroo meets lonely kenma.-kuroken, fluff and angst. convenience store au (small hiatus bc of finals n distractions lol)
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 142





	1. found

**Author's Note:**

> don't know how i came up with this one but it's already pretty close to my heart,,

(CT/TW anxiety attacks. skip at "during his shifts" then ctrl/f to "sleepy voice")

_God, I want a touch of something new  
Something I can keep  
All I know is everything I do don't bare me no relief  
-Interlude iii, Tessa Violet_

Tetsurou Kuroo would like, no, love to fall asleep.

He was just so tired. Not even physically, but emotionally. At late hours like this, he wishes that his insomnia would just screw itself and get out of his life. Maybe it’s because he can’t make his brain shut up. But probably because he couldn’t seem to get over his last girlfriend. 

Kuroo turned onto his side, pulling the blanket off of his body and reaching for his phone underneath the pillow. He scrolled through his contacts, knowing that at least one of his friends had to be awake. It was only 1:48 in the morning, after all.

He figured that Bokuto was probably sleeping, same with Yaku. The man stopped on Tsukishima’s number, tapping on it with a mischievous grin. Maybe he could get a rise out of him before he went to sleep.

kuroo >> heyy tsukki

tsukki >> what do you want

kuroo >> i can’t sleep :((

tsukki >> too bad. i can.

Kuroo scoffed at the answer, swiping out of the chat with Tsukishima. He stared at the ceiling for a few moments before hailing himself out of bed. It was quiet, way too quiet for his liking. Shuffling out of his room, he paused in front of Oikawa’s closed door. He chuckled a little to himself and swung the door open suddenly.

“Oi! Kawa!” he yelled, face falling when he saw that the room was empty, bed perfectly made. Of course. Oikawa was probably at Iwaizumi’s. Again. Just the thought of those two being together reminded Kuroo of how lonely he was recent. He needed something or maybe just someone new, and badly. It wasn’t that he was desperate, or that he was chasing after someone. He was just in love with the idea of being in love.

The man groaned. He flicked on the light for the main corridor and settled himself in front of the window, pushing the blinds apart to look outside, draping another blanket over his legs. When Kuroo and Oikawa had gotten the apartment, Oikawa insisted on getting more throw blankets than they had any use for.

A few cars were driving by, and the lights of most shops were closed. Except for a convenience store open 24 hours. It must have just opened since Kuroo hadn’t remembered seeing it there before. They had food at the house, but Kuroo didn’t want any of it. 

“Some fresh air could help,” he mumbled to himself.

Kuroo tugged a jacket on and stuffed his keys and phone into his pockets before exiting the apartment, locking the door behind him. He wished he had friends in the apartment complex. Maybe have block parties, or just go over and hang around. Oikawa lived with him, but he was always at Iwaizumi’s place as of recent. 

Kuroo had no complaints about Oikawa’s boyfriend. He was a genuinely nice guy and fit perfectly with Oikawa. They had been friends for some over a decade, and Kuroo wondered if he was ever going to find someone like that for him.

Now that he thought about it, maybe he should focus on getting friends first.

Kuroo didn’t even know anyone who lived near him, except for a nice old man who he talked to once when he just moved in. 

Actually, he’s surprised that the neighbor who lived next door didn’t come over yet to complain about the noise problem. Whenever Iwaizumi came over to spend the night, Kuroo always had to put in earbuds or do his best to block out the noises coming from Oikawa’s room. Other than that, Kuroo didn’t like to think about it. And added with the loud music and video game themes every other day, it was pretty loud. 

He took the elevator down, cringing at the tired eyes gazing back at him from the reflection of the shiny silver doors. Kuroo was pretty sure that he looked miserable. If the bags under his eyes weren’t a clear enough indication, the fact that he dozed off every few seconds would be. The man leisurely walked across the road and pulled open the door for the convenience store. 

A small voice said, “Welcome,” and as Kuroo turned to greet him back, his heart caught in his chest. The man sitting behind the counter was so beautiful that it could’ve been unfair. Downturned eyes with long lashes, half-bleached hair framing his face so perfectly that matched with his pale complexion, he looked like a perfect moon and a petite frame that Kuroo just wanted to hold in his arms.

“Ah, hello,” Kuroo replied, disappearing behind a rack of chips to calm his beating heart. He dared to peek over the array of food at the man. If he could, he wanted to get to know him, talk to him. 

Kuroo grabbed a few bags of food, choosing a package of milk bread for Oikawa, tucking them under his arms and pulling the fridge door open to get a drink. He made his way back to the front of the store and set his food down onto the counter, avoiding the open textbook the employee had out. 

“Is this all for you?” he asked, voice small and almost timid.

“Yeah.” Kuroo moved to pull his wallet from his pocket, and paid for the items, stuffing the drink into his pocket. 

Kenma turned his attention back to the open textbook, lashes brushing against his cheeks. “Thanks. Come again,” he said as the bell above the door rang.

One thing that Kuroo knew for sure was that he would be back.

The last thing Kuroo remembered thinking about before he crawled into bed with the sheets over his shoulders was Kenma. He and his golden eyes.

-

Kuroo did come back. More than once too. It was always at the same time, the dead of night because he knew that he had more chance to see Kenma (who he’s only talked to once). 

The first two times that he went back, there was a different clerk behind the counter. She was much more talkative than Kenma was, but she didn’t seem to want to hit on him. 

It was the third night that he visited that Kenma was there. 

Kuroo had peeked through a spot in the blinds to try to see who was working there that night, but it was hidden by one of the advertisement posters tacked onto the glass. When he had finally emerged from his room, he saw Oikawa sitting on the couch watching a movie.

“Where are you going?” Oikawa asked, pausing the film on the screen.

“Just out. Getting some food I guess,” Kuroo said, pointing at the door.

“Are you hiding something from me?” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Kuroo rolled his eyes. 

“Ooh, did you get another girlfriend? Or a boy maybe?” the brunet said, throwing himself over the back of the couch to look at Kuroo. 

“Calm your tits. I’m just getting food.”

Oikawa only smirked in response then turned back to the movie, saying bye as Kuroo stepped out of the apartment. 

Kuroo walked the familiar crosswalk to the convenience store, pulling open the door and hearing the ring of bells.

The space behind the counter was empty, but someone’s stuff was there. An open textbook and a dim game console that was pushed to the side, a distraction.

“Ah, welcome.”

He turned to the back of the store, where Kenma was standing on a step stool to stock the top shelf. “Hey!” 

Kuroo got the usual, walking up to Kenma to tell him he was ready to pay. The smaller man hopped off of the stool and hid his hands in the sleeves of his jumper. A tacky vest displayed the logo of the store, and Kenma’s name tag was pinned to the front like before. 

As Kenma finished, he pushed the flimsy plastic bag of food in front of the other at the same time that Kuroo extended his hand. The bleached-blond looked at it confusedly.

“Tetsurou Kuroo. I’ll probably be here pretty often so I just wanted to introduce myself.”

“Oh, um. Kenma Kozume,” he shook his hand gently.

“What’cha studying?” Kuroo asked, looking at the open book.

“Video game design.”

“That’s cool. Guessing you’re still in college?”

“Yeah, it’s my last year.”

“Oh, I graduated a year ago.”

Another customer came through the door, both of them turning their heads to look. Kenma calls out his usual, “Welcome,” to which the person nods to in response.

“I’ll see you next time,” Kuroo said, gathering his purchases.

“Next time,” Kenma said.

-

_I woke up today, knowing no one really knows me_  
Don't know what to say  
All I know is that I'm lonely 

It turned out that the next time that they saw each other was a day later. Kuroo was a bit later than his usual time, which had Kenma wondering like he did every shift if he was going to show. The man had almost always shown up for Kenma’s every shift, making him wonder if it was purely coincidence or if he had somehow known his schedule in advance.

When Kenma was first walking past the new convenience store a week after it had opened, he knew that the job was almost perfect for him. Since it was a night shift, there’d be limited interaction, it would be quiet, he could study or play games when he had free time, and the best part was that nobody was up and about at night. It was definitely just right for him.

And then he started showing up.

Kenma had no complaints in the sense that it was good for the business, having regular customers. However, he wasn’t too happy about everything else. Sure, the customers liked to interact with him a little bit, but no more than a “How are you doing?” 

He sighed, resting his head on his hand. Kenma had turned the music off after some time, preferring to have quiet. The bell above the door rang, breaking the comfortable silence.

Kuroo walked in, eyes still tired and yawning. Kenma just wanted to know why he was always here at this time of night, at a time where nobody was awake save for them. More than that, why was he always appearing during his shifts? 

He wanted to ask, curiosity swallowing him up, but he didn’t want to talk. What if he said something wrong? What if his voice cracked and Kuroo thought he was weird and he made that face. The face that people used to still remain polite but judging underneath the surface. God, Kenma hated that face. What if he wasn’t heard, he didn’t like repeating himself, but he just wanted to ask and dammit, why is this so hard? Just shut up, shut up, shut up. Why was he breathing so hard, just stop, stop, stop.

“Kenma?” Kuroo’s sleepy voice brought him back to earth. Kenma shielded his face, hiding behind a curtain of hair until he composed himself. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before looking up at Kuroo.

“Yeah, sorry,” Kenma muttered, scanning the items before dropping them into a bag.

Kuroo ran his hand through his hair. “You okay? It kinda took you some time to respond and you were breathing pretty hard.”

“I’m fine, thanks,” he said, continuing to ring up the items. He stopped at a single slice of frozen apple pie. Kenma loved apple pie. He’d have to make a mental note to buy some later before his shift ended. 

The other noticed his small pause, chuckling slightly. “You like apple pie?”

Kenma nodded, keeping his head down. Kuroo walked back to the freezer and pulled out another box, sliding it towards Kenma. He rang it up anyways, holding the bag out to Kuroo when he was done. “Thanks, come again.”

Kuroo pushed open the door to the store, then turned back to look at Kenma. “What time does your shift end again?”

He reached over and checked his phone. “Um, in five hours.”

“Mm, okay,” Kuroo thought it over and waved goodbye to Kenma.

He watched him walk out the door and across the street, illuminated by the street lamps and the headlights of the few cars awake at the graveyard shift. And then Kenma went back to staring into space, grabbing his game console but not even turning it on. 

Why’d he buy another pie after he asked Kenma if he liked it? It’s like he was almost teasing Kenma that he had more pie and that Kenma didn’t have any. After his shift, Kenma was going to get his own pie anyways.

Another long thirty minutes passed without a single customer. Not that he was expecting to see any, it was pretty early in the morning. It’s for the money, Kenma told himself after he almost dozed off for the third time since midnight. He rested his head on the counter, pulling his console into his lap to play. 

The bell rang again, and Kenma lifted his head to see the familiar bedhead. 

“Do you mind if I just stay here?” Kuroo asked, holding up two containers.

Kenma wanted to say no. He wanted his peace and quiet and even though he was lonely, he didn’t mind. 

But instead, he said, “No, you can stay.”

He looked genuinely happy at his answer, sliding behind the counter and pulling out a spare stool from underneath. Kuroo placed a container in front of Kenma, popping his own open.

“I got you some pie.”

Kenma smiled, pulling his sleeves behind his wrists to grab the food container.

“Thank you,” Kenma said with a smile, popping it open and taking a piece off of the corner and eating.

Kuroo hummed and Kenma turned to him, seeing a pleased smirk on his face.

Kenma’s eyes shifted away uncomfortably, turning back to the pie, “What?”

“You should smile more often. Looks nice on you.”

He turned a light shade of pink then took a fork and stabbed it through the food. The way that Kuroo looked at him was different than anyone had ever done. With his eyes focused and smile tugging at the corners of his lips, bedhead sticking up and unruly like usual.

He looked at him like he found something interesting in Kenma.


	2. again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hm? What were you waiting for?"
> 
> "You, obviously," Kenma retorted, tossing his stuff into a backpack.
> 
> "Aw, that's sweet," he said, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> autocorrect kept telling me to correct kenma into "kenya" 
> 
> i wrote half of this on my phone so i didn't realize how short the paragraphs were but i hope you like it anyways haha

It’s no surprise to both of them, but they’re together again, sitting behind the convenience store’s counter. Kuroo lost count but he’s probably appeared at the store at least six times now. Each time getting closer and closer to Kenma.

Only a few people have stopped by, leaving them both in quiet with only the sound of cars passing by and a fan rattling overhead. Kenma pulled out his game console with a sigh and rubbed at his eyes. He held it up, finger tracing over the power button before Kuroo lowered it gently.

The bleached-blond let out a tired grumble and looked at Kuroo.

“Let’s talk,” Kuroo said, resting his hand in the crook of his elbow, eyes raised to meet Kenma’s.

“About what?”

“I dunno. Anything I guess. You don’t know me and I don’t know you, so we could start there,” he suggested, pulling the game out of Kenma’s hands.

Kenma scoffed and rolled his eyes because he didn’t want Kuroo to know how much he really knew about him. He knew that almost every night, around 2:30, he would go down to the store. He knew the food that he would buy as if tradition and how much he worried about his bedhead, even though he didn’t seem to show it. Some others would say that that was creepy, but Kenma would disagree, saying that it was simply being observant.

Kuroo waited for a few moments and then his eyes grew wide and then he set the game down. “I’m sorry, I overstepped my boundaries.”

“No, it’s okay,” Kenma said, “It’s been a while since I had someone to talk to.” 

He tugged at his sleeves and turned in his seat to face Kuroo. “Why are you always here every night?”

The other laughed, a unique laugh that Kenma hadn’t ever heard before. “I have pretty bad insomnia, and I can’t even sleep.”

“Oh. That sucks.”

“Nah, not really. If I slept, I wouldn’t have met you.”

Kenma smiled, but he could’ve imagined Kuroo winking at him if he turned around. His eye caught on the pushed aside game console. “Do you play video games?”

“Yeah!”

The blond handed Kuroo a controller to his Switch and turned it on to Super Smash Bros, to which Kuroo whooped at in joy. One thing that Kuroo discovered that night was that Kenma went almost dead silent when he started playing. He started up friendly jesting, and Kenma only responded with a hit to Kuroo’s character on screen. 

And it turned out that Kuroo loved small touches every here and there. He would bump Kenma’s shoulder occasionally, and lean into him when he laughed. Normally, Kenma would shift away with a look of discomfort. 

But he didn’t. He didn’t know why it was like this with Kuroo. He wanted to talk to him, and he wanted Kuroo to sit next to him in the late hours of the day.

Kenma kept saying yes. He couldn’t remember the last time that he felt like he actually had someone to talk to. Kenma had been used to being lonely for so long, and this was new. He had this feeling when he walked into the store for the first time, this feeling that just stayed in the back of his head.

Nothing was going to be the same anymore.

His quiet little world was disrupted, but not necessarily in a bad way. 

He resumed furiously tapping at his controller, then interrupted by his growling stomach. Kenma’s face flushed a light pink and Kuroo laughed, pausing the game. The man stood up and patted Kenma's back gently to tell him to move.

“Geez, you need some food,” Kuroo laughed, squeezing by Kenma and walking through the empty aisles. 

“No,” Kenma called, “I don’t.”

“Your stomach says otherwise,” he hummed, spiky hair peeking up from behind the stacked items.

The bell above the door rang, and Kenma welcomed the people. Kuroo continued to weave through the aisles, dropping bags of food into the basket that he grabbed, oblivious to the newcomers. Kuroo emerged from the back, looking down at his basket.

“Did you find everything alright?” Kenma asked the couple standing in front of the counter.

“Ok, Kenma I got-“ Kuroo trailed off, eye catching on the customers. His ex and she was accompanied by a new guy.

“Oh,” he said under his breath, swallowing down the wave of emotions bubbling from his throat.

Happy together, he thought, she’s happier now.

Kuroo waited until they left the store to approach Kenma again, pulling out his wallet to pay for their snacks.

Kenma raised an eyebrow. “That took you awhile.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know what you wanted,” Kuroo said, keeping his tone upbeat, masking the small hurt

He looked at Kenma and saw how he noticed something up with him, just with a small sentence said. The blond shrugged and rang up the items. Kuroo kept insisting on paying, even when Kenma pointed out that some of it were for him too. 

Before Kenma could protest further, Kuroo swiped his card with a triumphant smirk, making Kenma smile.

Kuroo popped open his bag of chips, peering into the bag and seeing the small amount of the serving.

“It’s basically all air,” Kuroo whined, shaking the bag around.

“Pretty stupid,” Kenma commented, but he was focused on getting the game started up again, “Don’t get  
grease on my controllers.”

He reached over and grabbed a napkin, shoving at Kuroo’s chest. 

“Alright, alright, I won’t.”

They played a few more  
rounds, and every time Kuroo kept glancing at the clock, time went by faster and faster. Quicker than they knew it, it was three a.m.

Kuroo yawned, finally setting down his controller and hiding his head in his arms. Discarded bags of food were pushed to the side, and Kenma pushed them into the trash. 

“I’ll just stay with you until your shift ends,” Kuroo yawned and adjusted his position.

“Ok. It’s only two more hours anyway,” he said. 

Kuroo stayed there, head facing Kenma to talk, cheek squished against his arm. 

“I’ll just go stock some stuff in the back.”

“Mkay,” he drawled sleepily, waving as Kenma stood to make his way to the back.

Kenma rustled around with all the items and stocked, occasionally stretching and checking the door  
for people. He finished quickly, not wanting to keep Kuroo alone for too long.

“I’m done, Kuroo,” Kenma called, stopping when he saw Kuroo.

He was sleeping, back rising and falling in even breaths, hood tugged slightly over his hair.

Kenma laughed softly and sat next to Kuroo, laying his head down to be even with Kuroo. He looked so peaceful when he slept. When he was awake, the corners of his mouth were tugging with a silent jest, eyes golden.

But now, he looked so content, so at peace. Kuroo mumbled something in his sleep and turned, making Kenma shoot up away from his face. He supposed he could leave him be for a few, then wake him up as soon as his shift ended. 

Kenma couldn’t wait to be home. Just to bury underneath a pile of blankets, safe and warm, and away from people. Maybe bring his phone with him so he could watch a few episodes of his favorite TV show. Anyways, he just needed to recharge. Long days of interacting with people always drained him, especially on graveyard shift days. 

The last two hours were quiet, but people started dropping by for a quick snack, and the apartment owners surrounding the store started to wake, the lights flickering on and filtering through the blinds. Kenma yawned and glanced at his watch, waiting for his replacement to arrive so he could leave. 

“Kuroo,” he said, pushing at his shoulder to wake him up, “wake up, my shift’s over.”

He managed a sleepy mumble, something that wasn’t even understandable to Kenma. Kenma kept shoving at his shoulder, “Wake up already!”

Kuroo lifted his head, half-lidded eyes looking at Kenma for a brief second then taking in his surrounding. He yawned and rubbed at his eyes.

“Hm? What were you waiting for?”

“You, obviously,” Kenma retorted, tossing his stuff into a backpack. 

“Aw, that’s sweet Kenma,” he said, smiling.

Kenma tugged at the hem of his shirt towards the entrance, “Come on, I wanna go home.” A half-asleep Kuroo followed, walking lazily to the traffic light.

“You look like you’re drunk,” Kenma said, craning his neck to look up at Kuroo. The other only hummed in response and then started crossing the road.

“Why are you following me? I can get home by myself.”

“Um, I’m going home too, stupid.”

“Yeah, but in the direction of my apartment,” Kuroo said, stopping in front of the door and pulling it open, Kenma still by his side.

Kenma laughed, a small laugh that Kuroo would’ve loved to hear over and over again. “This is my apartment complex.”

Kuroo’s eyes widened. “You kidding?”

The other only shook his head and they both walked into the elevator, standing in silence as it went up to Kuroo’s floor. Kenma walked out the same as Kuroo, and Kuroo pretended not to care, because this was getting too weird for a coincidence.

“Kenma,” he said, and the other hummed in response, “And on this floor too?”

He nodded and stopped in front of a door numbered “72”. Kenma jabbed his thumb backwards and then reached down to retrieve his keys from his bag. “This one is mine.” 

The blond unlocked the door and stepped in, closing his halfway and then peeking back out to wave goodbye. 

“I’ll see you soon,” Kenma said, then waved before closing the door shut with a click and leaving Kuroo standing there, still dumbfounded in front of his door. Kuroo cleared his throat and walked down the hall a bit more and entered his room, shutting the door quickly behind him and sliding down the door with a sigh.

He was stuck, so very stuck. He didn’t know how to get out of the space between moving on to love Kenma. 

And being hopelessly stuck in the past. Kuroo ran his hands through his hair, not even lifting his head and Oikawa ran into the hallway with a baseball bat raised to his shoulder, shouting “Who’s there?”

Oikawa let the bat fall to the ground when he saw Kuroo, slouched against the door. He pushed at his shoulders, making sure that he was ok. 

Kuroo wasn’t ok.

And little did he know, Kenma, a few doors down, wasn’t ok either. Kenma was conflicted and confused. It had been a while since he was in a relationship this close. He liked Kuroo, that he was sure of.

But he didn’t know if Kuroo liked him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading,, pls comment and leave kudos (i appreciate any feedback!)
> 
> i do art too!! [@hxzlyy](https://www.instagram.com/hxzlyy/)


	3. watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kuroo >> when does class end
> 
> kenma >> like in half an hour
> 
> kuroo >> cool, cool. 
> 
> kenma >> why??
> 
> kuroo >> because that gives me enough time to ask you out on a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i'm so sorry this took so long but i hope it's worth it. i'll get the next chapter out sooner, i swear

Time passed quickly for Kenma, and soon enough, he found himself falling out of bed in a cocoon of blankets. 

He questioned his choices from a few months ago multiple times. Kenma just assumed that he’d be fine to wake up for an afternoon class after his graveyard shift, but every time he rolled out of bed in the morning, he assumed wrong. Surely he could survive two classes at college and then he could head back home and sleep some more. 

Kenma cast a sideways glance towards the overflowing laundry bin tucked into the corner. He could go one more day wearing his large sweatshirt, then he’d load it as soon as he got back to the apartment. Kenma groaned because he was tired and just wanted to hide under the blankets for a few more hours. If anything, he was glad that he didn’t sign up for tonight’s shift.

The blond got ready for the day and pulled his game case off of the table, unzipping it and lifting the console to wipe it clean. A torn scrap of paper fluttered to the ground, Kenma placing the console back on the table to grab the piece.

He flipped it over, and a number was messily scrawled on with pencil, along with a lopsided smiley face. 

Who?

It wasn’t the first time that someone tried to drop their number subtly, but Kenma never did anything about them. The only person other than him who had touched his game case yesterday was Kuroo. So the number was probably Kuroo’s. Kenma put the number into his phone and typed out a simple message. 

-

kenma >> who is this?

-

He stared at his phone but didn’t really expect a quick response. Kenma tossed his bag on and exited his apartment, starting his walk to the bus stop so he could go to the college. He kept mainly to himself, nodding in greeting to a neighbor passing by, and claimed his usual spot on the bus.

Kenma always felt the need to grab a spot that was in the back. He wanted to see everybody in the room and know if they were looking at him. If he sat in the front, he would feel eyes in the back of his head, gazes from every direction just looking at him. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out, silently reading the message.

-

??? >> who do you think?

??? >> just kidding. it’s kuroo.

kenma >> that was real smooth putting ur number in my game case

kuroo >> yeah ikr ;)

kuroo >> what are you doing?

kenma >> heading to uni, you?

Kuroo >> [photo: kuroo holding up a peace sign along with another man with spiked up white and black hair, sticking his tongue out. Two coffees sit out of focus on the table.]

-

Kenma did a double-take at the photo, then took a moment to type out a message.

-

Kenma >> you know bokuto?

Kuroo >> wow it’s a small world haha. yeah he’s my friend from when i used to play vball

-

The bus squeaked to a stop in front of his university, and the blond swiped out of the messages and hopped off the bus. He walked through the wide hallways, keeping his head down and avoiding any eye contact. Kenma opened his phone again and contemplated what to send back to Kuroo, accidentally bumping into someone.

“Sor-” he started, then looked up, “Oh, hey Akaashi.”

“Hey,” he said and caught a glimpse of Kenma’s phone, “Isn’t that my boyfriend?”

Kenma held up his phone. “Yeah, he’s hanging out with my friend right now.”

Akaashi laughed and pushed his glasses up, heading into a classroom with Kenma trailing behind. They chatted some more before class started, the professor abruptly cutting off their conversation. He only got a few sentences into his lecture before Kenma felt himself drifting off into sleep, a sudden buzz on his lap snapping him back awake. 

He flipped it over and saw a few more messages from Kuroo, who seemed keen on bugging him throughout the whole class. Kenma didn’t mind too much though. Anything to keep him awake through this boring lecture would be greatly appreciated. 

-

kuroo >> excuse me are you leaving me on read right now???

kuroo >> wow bo talks a lot about akaashi lol

kuroo >> when does class end

kenma >> like in half an hour

kuroo >> cool, cool. 

kenma >> why??

kuroo >> because that gives me enough time to ask you out on a date

-

The blond blinked, then read the message again in disbelief, then blinked because he honestly couldn’t believe this. Kuroo asked him out on a date. A date. Kenma turned his phone off and buried his face into his sleeves, taking a deep breath and fighting off the urge to smile and laugh in front of the entire class.

Akaashi nudged his shoulder and whispered, “You okay?”

Kenma just nodded and then went back to hiding his face. He pulled his phone into his lap and typed out a simple message, taking a few breaths before hitting send.

Now he just had to wait for the next text.

-

“Bo, why’d I do that?” Kuroo whined, staring at the texts. 

Bokuto laughed, “Because you’re finally starting to get over your ex.”

“That’s not the point,” he said, punching the other in the back.

Kuroo anxiously took a few sips of his coffee, occasionally flipping over his phone that Bokuto made him put on the table so he wouldn’t go crazy. 

“Chill out. He’s probably working out what to say with Akaashi,” Bokuto chided and rested his feet on Kuroo’s knees, who swatted at them impatiently.

“I’ve been left on read for five minutes, Bo! Five minutes!”

His phone chirped and Kuroo leaped forward, causing Bokuto to slip from his chair with a heavy thud. “Kuroo, what the-”  
“He said yes!” Kuroo waved his phone in the air, an overjoyed grin on his face. Bokuto jumped from his spot on the floor and hugged Kuroo, the two laughing and rejoicing. Customers glared at them for the noise, and eventually, an employee approached them and gently told them that they were disturbing the other people and had to leave. 

The two were too happy to care. As they exited the shop, Bokuto slung his arm over Kuroo’s shoulders. They walked to the bus stop, waving goodbye to each other as they went their separate ways. 

Kuroo sighed, still giddy and took out his phone again to text Kenma about the date.

-

kuroo >> heyyyy

He watched as a text bubble appeared underneath his message, humming happily at how quickly Kenma responded to messages. With his other friends and ex, it took them a lot longer to text back. 

kenma >> hey

kuroo >> are you cool with going out tomorrow?

kenma >> yeah but only after 3

kuroo >> works for me :))

kenma >> where are we even going?

-

Kuroo put his phone down and tapped at his chin. Where could they go on a date? Kenma liked games and apple pie and large sweatshirts, but that didn’t give him any hints as to where they should go. He didn’t think Kenma would appreciate going to the mall like Oikawa did, same with any place that was too crowded. They were going on a date on a weekday, so too many kids wouldn’t be around. 

He opened his phone and searched up “places to go on a date”. Kuroo cringed at all of the expensive restaurants that popped up. If anything, Kenma wasn’t the type of person to go for that kind of stuff. Kuroo groaned and leaned back. 

Kuroo ran through the list of things that Kenma liked again. Games. Kenma loved playing video games. 

If he remembered correctly, there was an arcade a few stops away from their apartment complex. 

It was perfect. 

They could hang out at the arcade, grab some takeout from a food place that Kenma liked, and eat at Kuroo’s apartment. He texted Kenma again.

-

kuroo >> you’ll see ;)

kenma >> you looked up places to go, didn’t you

kuroo >> no! this was all part of my plan

kenma >> sure it was

kuroo >> ok it doesn’t matter i’ll just go to your apartment at 3:30 tomorrow

kenma >> ok

kenma >> i’m looking forward to it

kenma >> [photo: the top of a bus seat. a hoodie covers kenma’s hair, and dark roots are peeking out. kenma holds up a thumbs up sign, and the window is blurry next to him.]

-

Kuroo grinned at the picture and took in every detail, jumping in surprise as he heard the bus driver make the final call to get off at his stop. Kuroo bounded up and thanked the driver, running to his apartment to plan out the rest of the date. He found himself stopping for a few seconds to glance at Kenma’s door but moved on quickly because he didn’t want to seem creepy.

He twisted his key in the lock and as soon as he got inside, he flopped onto the couch, burying his face in one of the multiple throw pillows that they owned. 

The apartment was way too quiet. And he knew Oikawa was home since he shoes and keys were still in the hallway.

“Oikawa!” he called, flipping onto his stomach.

“Oikawa, where the hell are you?”

A muffled grunt came from his bedroom and the door swung open as Oikawa appeared, wiggling a shirt over his head. Kuroo sat up and said, “The apartment was way too quiet. I thought you finally left or something.”

“What the hell,” he scoffed, “You can’t just come in here and start yelling.”

Iwaizumi emerged from Oikawa’s bedroom, hair tousled and eyes sleepy. Kuroo raised his eyebrows in suspicion. “And what were you two doing anyway?”

“Sleeping,” Iwaizumi snapped.

“And then you came in here yelling like it was a life or death situation,” Oikawa followed, still yawning.

Kuroo raised his arms in protest. “It is!”

“Like what, did you finish a video game or something?”

“No, Oikawa, I got a date.”

It took the other two a few seconds to process, and then their eyes widened and Oikawa groaned. Iwaizumi chuckled and held out his hand, Oikawa walking back to the kitchen counter to grab his wallet. He slapped a ten dollar bill onto Iwaizumi’s hand, mumbling in protest.

“Did you seriously make a bet about me?” Kuroo asked.

Iwaizumi explained, “I bet that you would get a date sometime in the next month, and Oikawa said that you were too mopey and that would never happen. Ten dollars.”

“I never said that!” Oikawa shouted.

“Well it’s a win-win for everyone but Oikawa.”

“I got a date. And you got ten dollars.”

“But the important part is the date,” Iwaizumi pointed out.

“Yeah, the date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kuroo and kenma are adorable that's it i don't make the rules
> 
> ahh thank you all so much for reading and putting up w my shit schedule,, comment n leave kudos (i love feedback!!)
> 
> [Link text](https://www.instagram.com/hxzlyy/)


	4. special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo grinned, “Are you ready to go on the best date ever?”
> 
> Kenma scratched at his chin, avoiding Kuroo’s gaze. “I’ve never. Well, I’ve never really gone on a date before.”
> 
> The other’s eyes widened but were quickly replaced with an overjoyed smile. 
> 
> “Then I’ll make sure that it’s the best first date ever!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeehaw

Days had passed.

Well, not days, but to Kuroo, they surely felt like days. Last night, he could barely get himself to fall asleep, especially with his insomnia. His insomnia only made it ten times worse. In the morning, he had walked around every inch of the apartment, going over the date plan over and over again in his head. 

The other two in the apartment had continuously asked him if he was okay, then eventually snapping because his pacing was loud against the wooden floor. 

Iwaizumi was still at the apartment, presumably to stay with Oikawa after Kuroo left, so he took advantage of that and had the two be his council for outfit choices. He had laid out every combo, filling his bed and emptying his closet. One thing that he knew for certain was that it was never this hard with his ex. He felt the need to impress Kenma and put 200% effort into it.

“Okay, well how about this?” Kuroo asked, turning in front of Oikawa and Iwaizumi, blocking their view of the TV. The fourth outfit that Kuroo had tried on was composed of dark skinny jeans, a graphic tee, and a reddish windbreaker.

“For the last time, Kuroo, you look fine,” Iwaizumi groaned, moving to see the film. 

“Hm, Oikawa what do you think?” he said, smoothing his hands over the fabric.

Oikawa gave an enthusiastic smile and two thumbs up, “Looking hot, Kuro-chan! This one’s the best out of all of them.”

“I think I’ll keep this one,” Kuroo decided, moving out of the way of the television, earning a content sigh from Iwaizumi.

Oikawa turned to face Kuroo, head propped up on his elbows. “If I didn’t have my hot boyfriend I’d date you,” he said, lightly kicking Iwaizumi. 

“You wouldn’t date Kuroo even if I paid you,” Iwaizumi coughed, pulling Oikawa’s legs into his lap.

“Not the point, Iwa-chan! I’m trying to say that he’s looking hot,” he pointed out. 

Kuroo watched their interaction with a smile.

Oikawa side-eyed the clock, “Don’t you have to pick him up soon?”

“Yeah, but he lives a few doors down so not yet,” Kuroo said from the kitchen, packing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. 

The other leaped up. “You’re telling me that he’s practically a neighbor?”

Kuroo hummed and pulled on his shoes, standing in the doorway. “I’m going now!”

Oikawa whooped as Iwaizumi called, “Good luck!” with a large grin. 

Kuroo walked through the halls, running his hand through his hair over and over. He had at least tried to tame his stupid bedhead but it didn’t work. Eventually, he just figured that it would be fine how it was. Kuroo stopped in front of Kenma’s door and took a deep breath. He knocked on the door and waited. The door swung open and revealed Kenma. 

He was wearing a large sweatshirt with baggy jeans cuffed at the ankle. Kuroo made sure to take Kenma’s hair that was tied back into account, the dark roots and bleached hair swirling together. 

Kuroo had no words. Kenma was simply beautiful. He hated that he felt like he was in a romance cliche, but he really thought that Kenma looked amazing. 

“Hey,” Kuroo choked out, “You look great.”

“You do too,” Kenma said. He stood back from the door and gestured inside. “Wanna come in? I still have to pack my stuff.”

“Yeah, sure,” he replied, leaning against the doorframe to take off his shoes. 

“I don’t really have much, but do you want some food?” Kenma peered into his fridge and opened multiple cabinets. 

Kuroo waved his hands in dismissal, “I’m good, thanks.”

He looked around Kenma’s apartment. It was the same size as his and Oikawa’s and it was minimalistic, the necessities and some more. Kuroo looked at the game system underneath the TV stand and the rack next to it, with multiple different disc cases stacked onto it. 

“I’m ready”, Kenma said and Kuroo turned to see him slide a fanny pack across his shoulders. 

Kuroo grinned, “Are you ready to go on the best date ever?”

Kenma scratched at his chin, avoiding Kuroo’s gaze. “I’ve never. Well, I’ve never really gone on a date before.”

The other’s eyes widened but were quickly replaced with an overjoyed smile. 

“Then I’ll make sure that it’s the best first date ever!” he extended his hand to Kenma, eyes dancing with happiness.

Kenma smiled and took his hand, walking with him to the door and towards the elevator. He looked down at their hands, a grip that wasn’t too forceful, one that was gentle and acceptant. They went down to the parking garage before Kuroo softly pulled his hand away.

“The bus should be here soon,” Kuroo said, pulling his sleeve back to look at his watch.

“I still don’t know where we’re going.”

“Somewhere that you’ll enjoy,” Kuroo stated singsongy, looking down slightly to meet Kenma’s eyes. Kenma turned away quickly, choosing to focus on the concrete. Now that Kuroo thought about it, he never got the chance to see Kenma’s eyes.

It was only the first time that they had met when Kuroo had seen them. They were a pool of gold shadowed over by long lashes. He’d see them again, one day.

The bus pulled up to the stop, Kenma and Kuroo getting on. He followed the shorter man to the back of the bus, where he looked at the seat first to make sure it was fine and then sitting. As the bus started moving, Kenma didn’t talk much, and Kuroo didn’t force him.

He stared out the window, watching the trees and tall buildings of the city pass him by. Kuroo was happy and content seeing Kenma like that. 

Soon enough, the bus driver rolled to a stop near the arcade and Kuroo pulled a surprised Kenma off of the bus. Bright lights and signs beckoned the two towards the multi-story building, flashing with familiar video game characters.

Kenma gasped beside Kuroo and craned his neck to look at the top. “Wow,” he said, breathlessly.

“So? Do you like it?” Kuroo said. He was anxious for a good answer, hoping that he chose the right place. 

“Kuroo,” he started, “I love it.”

He let go of a sigh that he didn’t even know he was holding. “Good. I’m glad.”

Kenma held his sleeve. “Please stay near me. There’s a lot of people.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t plan on letting go.”

-

To say that the arcade was impressive was an understatement. Kuroo and Kenma could get lost in the rows of video games lined up back to back. Kenma had excitedly pointed out retro games that he never thought that he would get to play and then towed Kuroo along with him to play.

He looked happy. 

The blond talked a lot more when it came to games, rambling about the design and the controls and more. When he sat in front of the game and started playing, however, he sunk back into quiet. Kenma focused on the game and skillfully maneuvered it even if it was his first time playing.

Kuroo stood behind him and smiled because Kenma was overjoyed by the sheer amount of games that surrounded him. They wandered a bit more, going up the escalator to another floor full of arcade games. Kuroo occasionally checked on Kenma to make sure that he was fine, concerned about his anxiety. 

Kenma insisted that he was fine, as long as the taller man was by his side. 

He looked around, his eye catching on one of the many purikura booths tucked into the corner. “Kenma, let’s go take pictures,” he said, pointing at the booth. 

Kenma reluctantly let himself be dragged over to the purikura, the curtain swishing behind him. The other paid and they took pictures, Kenma awkwardly smiling and posing. 

“Look at these,” Kuroo laughed, looking at their pictures and picking up the pen.

Much to Kenma’s surprise, they turned out nicely. Kuroo enjoyed himself dragging stickers and decorating the pictures, laughing even harder when he edited his face.

The two signed their names at the top with a content sigh. They printed them and Kuroo downloaded them onto his phone.

“Guess what’s gonna be my new wallpaper,” Kuroo sang, tapping at his phone.

Kenma looked up from the pictures in his hand. “You wouldn’t,” he said, looking at Kuroo seriously, but the smile on his face betrayed him.

“I just did,” Kuroo said, waving his phone in front of Kenma’s face, his wallpaper now of the dorkiest picture they took.

“I look so bad in there,” Kenma mumbled, turning his head down.

Kuroo slung an arm around Kenma’s shoulders and scoffed. “No you don’t.”

“Blah, I do too.”

“Nope, no. We’re not arguing about this. You look great and that’s the end of it.”

Kenma blushed, and started walking to keep up with Kuroo. They played a few more games, the purikura pictures tucked into Kenma’s danny pack. Kenma grinned as Kuroo attempted to get a high score on Dance Dance Revolution.

He aggressively jumped on the buttons, adding extra dance moves which only made Kenma laugh. Kuroo hopped off of the machine as the song finished and leaned onto the rail, out of breath.

“That was entertaining to watch,” Kenma held back another laugh, handing back Kuroo’s backpack.

“Hope you enjoyed it because I’m never doing it again,” he breathed, “You hungry? We can go get food.”

“Mm, yeah sure. You can choose.”

“Then I have the perfect place in mind.”

They exited the arcade and waited at the bus stop, laughing about Kuroo’s horrible dance skills and the purikura pictures saved in their memories. When the bus arrived, it was full of people coming back from work during rush hour.

“Shit,” Kenma swore under his breath.

“Do you wanna grab the next bus?”

“I’ll be okay.”

“Hey,” Kuroo patted his shoulder, “Just stay near me.”

Kenma nodded and stepped onto the bus, squeezing between people to get a less crowded spot. He stayed calm, taking deep breaths and distracted himself by looking out the window at the bright buildings passing by. 

Kuroo checked on him every few, making sure that he was fine. Kenma reassured him each time. As they pulled up to their stop, Kenma practically bounded off of the bus in relief, happy to be out of the cramped space. They walked to the food place, Kenma still not aware of where they were going but following Kuroo anyways. 

The tall man stopped in front of a friendly looking building, a red banner reading, “Ramen”. Kuroo inhaled dramatically and placed his hands on his hips.

“Now this,” he said, “This is good food.”

“Sure smells like it,” Kenma hummed.

They entered and the smell of warm ramen swarmed them immediately. Kuroo and Kenma grabbed a table and got food, exchanging small facts about themselves to get to know the other person better. 

Kenma’s eyes widened when he saw green tea mochi on the menu, quickly ordering some as soon as the waitress passed by. Kuroo smiled at his enjoyment, playfully taking one when it arrived, much to Kenma’s dismay.

They talked for a while, and almost didn’t notice the sun setting outside and the bright lights of the city coming alive. Kuroo glanced at the clock, starting to gather up his belongings when he saw that it was late and they should probably head home soon. 

“We gotta catch the last bus!” He exclaimed, tossing the rest of his stuff into his backpack and slapping down money for the bill. 

They ran to the bus station, Kenma groaning from the mix of sprinting and the food he just ate. “Kuroo, slow down,” he cried, bending over and coughing.

“We’re almost there!” 

The two made it just in time, the bus closing its doors and getting ready to pull away. Kuroo banged on the door with a panicked expression and the bus driver let them in with a sigh.

Kenma collapsed into a chair, breathing hard and coughing. “That,” he said, “Was a rush.”

“Yeah,” Kuroo replied, leaving back to catch his breath. 

They stayed in silence for the majority of the drive, Kuroo bursting into laughter towards the end.

“What? Why are you laughing,” Kenma said, poking at Kuroo’s shoulder.

“That was so fun!” He laughed, showing his wallpaper again with the dorky picture the two of them took.

“It really was,” Kenma started laughing, looking at Kuroo’s overjoyed face.

They walked into their apartment building, walking to Kenma’s door and pausing. 

“Thanks for making my first date special,” Kenma said, pushing his door open. Kuroo leaned his head on the doorframe, looking down at the shorter blond.

“Let’s do it again?” Kenma added.

Kuroo grinned widely. “Yeah, let’s do it again.”

“Night, Kuroo.”

“Night!”

Kenma shut his door quietly and Kuroo stood there, a hopeless smile plastered onto his face.

All because of the word again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think my heart screamed writing this
> 
> [me on instagram](https://www.instagram.com/hxzlyy/)


	5. break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh kenma u sweet sweet baby im sorry

Kenma could argue that life was pretty good. Maybe even better than good.

He had fallen into a somewhat normal routine that he was perfectly content with. Attend his usual afternoon classes every Tuesday and Thursday, take the late shifts at the convenience store, and play a good video game. 

And he couldn’t forget to add Kuroo to the mix. The taller man would still go to the convenience store often, striking up late-night conversations with Kenma and then walking back to the apartment with him. They had even gotten to the point where they could hang out in each other’s apartments, usually Kuroo’s. 

Kenma had grown accustomed to seeing Oikawa and Iwaizumi. Oikawa had eagerly greeted him and introduced himself, Iwaizumi doing the same a few days later when he came to see his boyfriend. 

But tonight, they were at the 24-hour store, Kenma quietly stocking in the back while Kuroo sat, doing nothing. 

“You want some help back there?” Kuroo called, angling his head toward Kenma. Only the top of his hair could be seen over the small aisles, then his eyes as Kenma stepped onto a stool.

“I’m fine, thanks,” he said politely, once again filling the silence with the crinkling of packaging.

Despite Kuroo’s cheery tone and smiles, Kenma felt like something was up. He turned towards the other, peeking past the stocked items, training his gaze on Kuroo. He absentmindedly tipped his chair back, eyes glassy and unfocused. 

Kuroo’s phone had buzzed once or twice earlier in the evening, him checking in nonchalantly as per usual. But after those messages, Kuroo’s attitude was noticeably off. Well, to Kenma at least. Once he was done, he sat next to Kuroo again with a sigh.

He began humming, a quiet and sadder tune compared to the usual upbeat pop tunes he listened to. 

“You look sleepy,” Kenma said, cutting into the melody. Kuroo stopped abruptly and sighed, putting his head down.

“Something like that,” he replied, voice muffled.

“Are you okay?” 

“Peachy,” Kuroo said, shutting down the conversation quickly. 

Kenma cleared his throat, “Well I’m here if you need me.”

Kuroo only nodded and then Kenma decided that that was enough for this talk. The night was relatively quiet, Kenma getting the chance to cover a few topics of his schoolwork. Occasionally, he turned to look at the man next to him, a blush creeping up his neck at the sight of him. 

Nothing had changed since the last time he saw him sleeping. Only tonight, a small hint of discomfort and distress was hidden in his features. Kuroo’s eyebrows furrowed unconsciously, lips falling into a frown.

Kenma looked at him, and he wanted to help. He wanted to know what was up.

He wanted to fix whatever was wrong. 

At the same time, Kenma was confused. This was his first time being in a relationship like this, and he was scared and didn’t know what to do. Sure, he had seen other couples becoming affectionate with one another and growing together, but Kenma just wasn’t like that. It was hard for him to even keep friends sometimes. 

He had mixed feelings about Kuroo. Kenma liked Kuroo, he really did, but he was unsure if it was a budding crush or more of a friend. Girls had never interested him, even throughout high school. Kenma had watched some of his other friends talk about girls, but he was never interested. 

Kuroo made his heart fuzzier, more longing. He wanted to talk to this man into the late night, get to know him inside and out. Akaashi, on the other hand, was just someone he liked being around, nothing more, nothing less. 

God, Kenma was confused. 

And the sleeping man beside him wasn’t making matters any better.

-

Kenma was in class again, glassy eyes staring straight ahead. The lecture of his professor was insignificant, droning on in the background. 

He yawned again for the millionth time this morning, then pulling his hood further over his head. His sleep schedule at this point was nonexistent, now he slept whenever he could or wanted to. Except, last night he stayed up all night thinking. 

Not about one thing, in particular, most of it mainly about Kuroo, but then his thoughts ended up spitballing from there. Aside from that, he had only gotten an hour or two of sleep and that was it. 

The professor in front clapped his hands together loudly, startling Kenma out of his sleepy thinking, the students around him hurriedly gathering their items and leaving. Everyone’s always in a rush nowadays, Kenma thought, quietly putting his stuff back into his bag.

He took the short way out of the campus, walking in between the growing crowds and taking in a short breath as some people got too close for his liking. Kenma kept his eyes down, like he always had, and made his way to the exit, inhaling the cool air deeply. 

The bus pulled up as soon as he got to the stop, Kenma quietly boarding and taking his usual spot in the back corner. With simple things like this, Kenma was rather easy to predict, and something about that left his mind unsettled.

Kenma walked across the crosswalk that he went through every day, to get to the convenience store and the bus stop and back. He lifted a hand in greeting to the woman behind the front desk then proceeded to make his way to the elevator. 

It was only midday, but the blond was already drained of social energy. The hustle and bustle of the university campus were enough to keep him in bed for a few hours without any human interaction. He got to the elevator but a man was working on the panel controlling it, earning an exasperated groan from Kenma. 

He could always take the other elevator, but that one was fidgety and unreliable. The few times that he had taken it, it was shaky and Kenma was paranoid that it would suddenly drop. 

His nose scrunched at the sight of the stairs. Now he had to take the stairs, and he felt his internal battery slowly draining away with every step. He reached his floor after lots of work, bending over to catch his breath. 

Kenma walked tiredly to his apartment, fishing out his keys from his backpack. He pushed open the door and tossed his backpack onto the sofa. The blond rummaged in his pockets, expecting to pull out his bus pass, but it was missing. He swore under his breath and walked out, walking through the halls to find it. 

He hoped it hadn’t fallen on the stairs, because that meant he had to walk up and down again and he was pretty sure he would die if he had to do that. His eyes caught on a curled up slip of paper on the carpet. Thankful, Kenma picked up his lost bus pass and tucked it into his pocket, remembering that it was there. 

Looking up from the ground, he saw a tall figure standing in front of Kuroo’s door. If he looked closer, he could see some of Kuroo’s hair barely peeking out. Curious, Kenma walked more to the side to look at the woman and his friend’s face. 

She was holding a box of items, taped shut. Kuroo looked happy, but the crease in his eyebrows said otherwise. The longer that Kenma looked, the more he realized that it was wrong to look. 

But yet he couldn’t turn away.

Kenma walked to his door and twisted the knob, pushing it open and sending one last glance towards Kuroo and the woman. Right before he went into his apartment, he saw Kuroo say something, but he couldn’t hear from his spot.

“I’m missing you.”

The blond went in and shut the door behind him, probably loud enough for Kuroo to hear. He padded to his bathroom, pushing the thought of Kuroo and the woman to the back of his mind. It wasn’t his place to eavesdrop or spy in on their conversation. 

It was wrong of him to do it, but yet his head spun. He couldn’t take what Kuroo had “said” as the truth because after all, it was only what he had thought he had said. 

Kenma could be entirely wrong, or maybe even right on the mark. He’d just have to ask Kuroo about it later while avoiding confrontation. Kenma despised confrontation. It made his blood boil with embarrassment and cheeks heat up in anger. If there was something wrong, or if Kenma didn’t like something, he would bear it in hopes of avoiding confrontation.

He sighed and looked up at himself in the mirror and at his pale face and grown-out roots. His shoulders quivered unknowingly and Kenma’s small frame bent in on itself as he raised his hands to his face. His gut twisted and turned, his mind running and anxious, feeding him more and more thoughts that he didn’t need, didn’t want.

Kenma slid his hands away from his face and looked into the mirror again, staring at his reflection. 

“Who,” he thought, “Who could ever love me?”

-

Kuroo was in a state of turmoil ever since his ex sent him a brief message saying that she was going to drop by to give him the rest of his stuff that he had left at her apartment. The night that she had texted him, Kuroo tried to get Oikawa to get the stuff from her while he hid out in his room.

Oikawa had snottily declined his request with his reasoning in exact words, “I have a date with Iwa-chan, Kuroo. Man up and do it yourself.”

Now that he thought about it, the last-minute meeting wasn’t bad at all. The spark that he felt a few months ago for her was definitely gone, and the small details about her that he had insisted were wonderful were background notes. 

He moved on from her. 

The conversation between the two of them was mellow, a simple “Hey, how are you?” exchanged to be polite. Kuroo felt his mind slip when she returned the question, pushing away the customary “I’m good” response.

“I’m happy now.”

She was taken aback for a moment at the different answers, but then her features softened as she handed him the box. “Good,” she said, “I’m happy now too.” They both smiled at each other, a kind smile that held no lies.

Behind them, a door shut, and Kuroo jumped from the sudden noise, his ex laughing quietly before turning. She waved and said, “Nice to see you again!”

Kuroo waved and held up the box, “Thanks for bringing this!”

She pulled on the straps of her backpack and walked into the elevator, disappearing from Kuroo’s sight. Kuroo walked back into his apartment, putting the box down and gently pushing it to the side with his foot. 

Now that that was over with, Kuroo was bored since he didn’t have any other plans for the day. He retrieved his phone from between the couch cushions and opened his messages app to text Kenma. 

Kuroo >> u busy?

Kenma >> no, what’s up

Kuroo >> idk i’m bored

Kuroo >> wanna come over to play something

Kenma >> no

Kuroo >> what

Kenma >> animal crossing just came out so no

Kuroo placed his phone down without responding to the message, slipping on a pair of slides and grabbing his keys. He walked down the apartment corridor and unceremoniously knocked on Kenma’s door. 

“Kuroo, I swear, if that’s you,” Kenma called from inside. Kuroo heard small footsteps and stood back from the door. Kenma swung the door open with an annoyed glance.

“What?”

“I’m here to hang out!”

Kenma sighed and held up his phone, “Did you not see my message?”

The taller man scratched his head, “No, what message?”

Kenma looked back down at his device and shoved at Kuroo’s shoulder. “What do you mean, you liar? It says you read the message.”

“Hm,” he hummed, “Too bad. You should hang out with me.”

Kenma mumbled under his breath and turned away, walking into his apartment but leaving the door open. 

“I’m not leaving until you come with me,” Kuroo called from the doorway. 

“I know,” Kenma reappeared with a sweatshirt tossed over his shoulder, “That’s why I’m going.”

“Wait, really?” Kuroo asked, “I was joking.”

Kenma cast him a glance over his shoulder, “Too late.” He opened the door to Kuroo’s apartment, tsking when he noticed that the door was left unlocked.

Kuroo looked at him incredulously as the smaller man sat on his couch like it was his own home. “You promised video games, right?”

Kuroo snapped back to reality, “Oh, yeah, I did.”

The two played a variety of games, not paying any attention to the ticking clock as they played for two hours. Kenma started making simple conversation, talking about the new Animal Crossing game with Kuroo, who didn’t understand but listened anyway. 

Suddenly, Kuroo started thinking about earlier as Kenma rambled on about the new game, curiosity swallowing him up as he opened his mouth before he even knew what words he was going to say. 

“I like you, Kenma.”

Kenma visibly stiffened beside him for a second, thumb quickly flying over the pause button of the game on the TV. “You what?” Kenma choked out, red creeping down his neck and furiously onto his cheeks.

Kuroo hadn’t prepared for this part. “I-I like you.”

The blond set down his controller and pulled his sweatshirt up to his nose and paused, tucking his knees into his chest. “Kuroo, I,” he started, “I saw you with your ex earlier.”

He coughed, “Kenma. That doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. She was giving my stuff back that I left at her apartment.”

“I know,” Kenma said softly, “Here’s the thing, Kuroo.”

Kuroo held his breath and turned on the couch so he could face Kenma while he was talking. 

“I’m starting to fall for you. But I-” Kenma said, fiddling with the drawstrings of his sweatshirt.   
He stopped, taking a few deep breaths. Kuroo waited, twisting his hands together in anticipation and nervousness. 

“But I can’t be your second choice. You get that, right?”

“Kenma, I swear, you won’t just be a rebound,” Kuroo scrambled for words to fill the silence, to reassure that that wasn’t how it had to be. 

“You know this,” Kenma said, “But this is my first real relationship. I don’t know how this is supposed to go.” At the word this, Kenma gestured between the two of them.

“I think. I think I just need some time to work this out in my head,” the blond stood and made his way to the door, slipping his shoes on.

“I’ll wait for you. However long you need.”

As he watched Kenma walk out the door, he felt something between them break.

And he wasn’t sure how to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does anyone wanna scream w me bout this bc pls im def open to that
> 
> mm ill drop this here [@hxzlyy](https://www.instagram.com/hxzlyy/)
> 
> (btw i opened commissions if anyone wants to check that out lmao)


	6. aware

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "For you, always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i stan Supportive Oikawa n u should too
> 
> (i broke this chap into 2 parts bc it was getting long n i wanted to post)

The thing is, as soon as something leaves your life and starts to fade away, that’s when people realize how much they miss it. Then they learn how much that person or thing filled a void in your life that they took for granted. 

Kenma had heard the same set of words multiple times, not by verbatim, but something similar each time. It had been two days since he’d talked to or seen Kuroo. The taller man stayed to his word and let Kenma have his time to work out the conflict in his head. 

He kept checking his phone, sighing every time he saw that his home screen was empty with no texts from Kuroo. The graveyard shifts at the convenience store now dragged out longer and longer. Kuroo wasn’t there to keep him company and it was quiet in the store. 

It was now that Kenma realized how much he depended on Kuroo.

He looked up at the apartment window where Kuroo lived. The lights were still on, curtains pulled haphazardly across the window. And as he sat behind the store’s counter, he wondered if Kuroo was thinking about this as much as he was.

-

“But a thing isn’t beautiful because it lasts. It’s a privilege to be among them.”

Currently, Kuroo was lying tiredly across his couch, legs resting on Oikawa’s lap, much to the other’s dismay. He reached down and pulled a handful of chips out of the bag, crunching obnoxiously.

“Do you mind?” Oikawa snapped, gesturing at the legs sprawled on his lap and the crumbs littering the couch and floor.

“No,” Kuroo said between chews, “I don’t mind.”

Oikawa shot him the stink-eye. “You better clean this up.”

“Chill out, I will,” the raven said, focusing his gaze back on the screen, where two characters were currently throwing punches at each other.

With Kuroo, the easiest way for him to deal with an argument or anything, in general, was to simply not deal with it. Others called it avoiding the inevitable, but he called it time. Especially tonight. Kenma had told him that he needed time, so time was what Kuroo was determined to give him.

He restrained himself from sending texts to Kenma, to drop by the convenience store, and anywhere else he could possibly see Kenma. Kuroo had probably opened at least five chat windows with Kenma, only to pause and realize what he was doing.

And long story short, it was messing with Kuroo’s head. 

“Ok, but Kuroo,” Oikawa slapped Kuroo’s ankle to grab his attention.

Kuroo hummed in response, propping his head back onto his arm to look at his friend.

“You can’t tell me that Captain America isn’t hot. I mean look at him!” the brunet flailed wildly.

“I dunno,” Kuroo said disinterested, “Not my type.”

Oikawa scoffed, “Your opinion then.”

“You have a boyfriend, Oikawa!”

“So? I just think he’s hot.”

The brunet clicked his tongue disapprovingly, “The only reason why you don’t find him attractive is that you already have your sights set on a certain small blond.”

“Why can’t we get through one movie without you bringing him up?” Kuroo protested, “One movie, Oikawa!”

Oikawa sat up and glared at Kuroo. Kuroo glared back, huffing and crossing his arms. 

“When are you going to stop being stupid and go talk to him? I’m tired of seeing you haul yourself and your depressed ass everywhere!” Oikawa snapped. He grabbed the remote and furiously paused the movie.

“He said he wants time!” 

“Time, my ass,” Oikawa scoffed again.

Kuroo sputtered, gesturing wildly at the door, “What do you want me to do, go over there and apologize for something?”

“Not even apologize, just go!” the brunet pushed Kuroo’s legs off of his lap and pointed at the door.

The two stared at each other, Kuroo’s eyebrow twitching before he jumped from the couch with a tired, “Fine.”

Oikawa smirked and turned, grabbing Kuroo’s keys that he put on the table and tossed them at him. He caught them effortlessly, stuffing them into his pocket then walking to the door. Kuroo saw Oikawa watching and flipped him off over his shoulder, the other sticking his tongue out and calling, “You won’t regret it!”

Kuroo mumbled angry threats at Oikawa even through the hallway, stopping abruptly at Kenma’s door. He paused, knocking gently as he waited for the soft padding of feet when Kenma checked who was there.

He waited, and twisted his fingers together anxiously. Nothing. Kuroo walked down to the elevator, figuring that Kenma was probably down at the convenience store. He stood in front of the elevator, waiting.

With a groan, Kuroo turned around again towards the stairs, not wanting to wait. He dashed down the stairs quickly, running out to the crosswalk between his apartment and the store, anxious to see Kenma. 

He peered behind the advertisement taped onto the glass, heart falling when he saw a different person behind the counter. Kuroo walked in anyways, the lady working not paying much attention to him.

“Hey,” he said, catching her attention, “Do you know Kenma? He works here.”

She looked up from her magazine, “Yeah if you’re looking for him, you just missed him.”

Kuroo thanked her, running out of the store and back to his apartment. He laughed to himself as he ran, thinking of Oikawa’s reaction if he saw him now. Now, he was running towards Kenma’s apartment with a smile, contrary to his attitude earlier when he was insisting that they didn’t need to talk.

He took the elevator and stopped in front of Kenma’s door as he had earlier in the evening. Kuroo knocked again and said, “Kenma? It’s Kuroo.”

Then he stood back and waited, rocking back and forth on his feet. Like before, Kuroo couldn’t hear Kenma walking to open the door. He held his breath and as he was about to turn back to his home, he heard a faint, “Come in.” 

Kuroo tentatively opened the door, closing it quietly behind him as he took in the mess of Kenma’s apartment. His jacket was crumpled on the floor and his bag was under the table with his books and switch next to it. A blanket was thrown over the couch haphazardly.

“Kenma?” Kuroo called, stepping through the living room and towards the corridor, where a light was turned on.

He heard coughing as he got closer and pushed open the bathroom door gently. “Kenma?”

Kuroo looked down and saw Kenma hunched over the toilet, coughing as his hair hung around his face. His eyes widened and he immediately crouched down next to him.

“Hey, what happened? You okay?” he said softly, pulling Kenma’s hair behind his head and holding it. Goosebumps erupted on Kenma’s neck at the gentle touch, and he shivered. 

Kenma looked up at Kuroo, his eyes fluttering and cheeks flushed. As he was going to say something, his hand darted up to his stomach and he turned back to the toilet quickly, coughing and gagging. 

The taller man rubbed his back reassuringly, murmuring small words of comfort to the other. Kenma sat back and flushed the toilet, leaning into Kuroo as he sighed. 

“I’m done,” he said, rubbing his eyes with his palms, sighing.

“You okay?” Kuroo murmured.

Kenma coughed again and stood to wash his face, “Probably just some bad food.”

Kuroo stood next to him, taking in the mess on Kenma’s shirt collar, his flushed face, and tired eyes. The shorter man shuddered at the cold water, then reached for his toothbrush.  
“If you don’t mind,” Kuroo said, turning out the door and towards Kenma’s room, “I’ll go grab you some fresh clothes.”

The other’s hand darted backward and gripped the rim of his shirt, his free hand wiping water off of his face. “I’m fine. Plus, I don’t have any clean clothes because today’s laundry day.”

Kuroo turned, facing Kenma. He caught his gaze for a few seconds before Kenma looked away at the ground. He moved his socked feet, saying quietly, “I’m fine.”

The taller man chuckled softly, “You are clearly not fine. I’ll go get you some clothes.”

He helped Kenma to the living room, settling him on the couch with a blanket draped over him. Kenma shivered again, curling into the couch cushions, pulling the blanket tighter around him. Kuroo gave him a last glance before he left the apartment, saying, “I’ll be back.”

Kuroo made his way back to his apartment, quickly going through the living room and pushing his bedroom door open. He went through his wardrobe, pulling out the smallest items of clothing that he owned before pausing. Was this weird? Was he getting ahead of himself?

The man changed his train of thought, playing it off as helping a friend in need. Kuroo cast a glance at his underwear drawer, wondering if it was too weird to give Kenma a pair. He contemplated it for a few seconds before closing the drawer hastily, settling for his faded college tee and short baggy shorts.

He was grateful that Oikawa was holed away in his room at this time, not ready for any form of questioning. If Oikawa was outside, he would wiggle his eyebrows suggestively and call at him to “Have fun~”

Kuroo went back to Kenma’s apartment, seeing his hunched figure on the couch still. Kenma’s head was leaning backward, eyes closed peacefully. The blanket was still wrapped around him. Kuroo shook his shoulders lightly, whispering, “Kenma. Kenma, you have to change.” 

His eyes fluttered open, looking at Kuroo then at the clothes bundled in his arms. 

“Thanks,” he said, pulling the clothes into his arms. He trudged to the bathroom, wobbling slightly. 

Kuroo slumped onto Kenma’s couch, taking a deep breath. He sat there for a while before standing again, picking up Kenma’s discarded jacket. He folded it and placed it on the table, then bending over to collect the array of items spilling out of his backpack. 

“‘M back,” Kenma said, his voice quiet and tired. 

Kuroo looked up, humming slightly and suddenly stopping as he took in the man standing in front of him. Kenma’s small figure was hidden in the long shirt. It hung off of his slender shoulders, stopping right above his mid-thigh, the cuffs of his boxers peeking out from underneath.

He held a folded bundle out to Kuroo. “Your shorts were too big, I hope you don’t mind.”

“No,” Kuroo choked out, “It’s fine.” 

The taller man turned quickly to the kitchen as Kenma walked back to the couch because he would combust if he looked at Kenma any longer. Just him wearing his shirt was enough to make his heart stutter, and added on with the fact Kenma wasn’t wearing any pants, Kuroo was surely a blushing mess by now. 

“Uhm, I’ll just grab you a glass of water, since you lost a lot of fluids,” Kuroo said, racking his mind for what his mother used to do after he threw up.

“Thank you, Kuroo,” Kenma said with a yawn. He relaxed into the couch, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh. 

Kuroo waited by the microwave for a few as the water revolved around and around, stopping as a beep rang out through the kitchen. He gave the water to Kenma, who took it with outstretched hands. Kuroo sat next to him on the couch, wondering what to say. 

He didn’t want to make anything awkward or force a conversation that should only be said with time. Kenma sat next to him, the blanket still curled around his arms and only moving to take small sips of water. 

“Kenma?”

“Hm?”

“Do you want me to stay?” Kuroo said, pausing then resuming hastily, “I mean, I don’t want to force anything.”

Kenma placed the mug down on the table beside him, looking down at his lap, where he was playing with his fingers nervously. “Yes.”

“You sure?” Kuroo asked again.

“Yes, I want you to stay,” he said, softly and traces of sadness in his tone, “Please.”

“For you, always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok ngl guys,, things have been tough for me. corona's messed a lot of stuff up n im not gonna go into detail bc its personal.
> 
> but mayhaps if you'd like to support me ill drop my insta n ko-fi below. thx for sticking w me <3
> 
> [@hxzlyy (coms open)](https://www.instagram.com/hxzlyy/)  
> [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/hazly)


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